Thankful For Wonder

After spending an extensive amount of time with two small people this past week (my two children, to be exact), I am again in awe of a child's sense of wonder. What makes them so excited about seeing an airplane in the sky, or a truck full of Christmas trees headed down the highway? Why do they "ooh" and "aah" over Christmas light displays, no matter how poorly constructed? I don't think it's an under-developed sense of aesthetics, but more a connection to the wonder that can be found in everyday life. Sure, I wonder about big theological concepts like forgiveness and atonement and God's all-powerful nature, but I also long to have more of my children's sense of awe about things I tend to find mundane. I want to remember to thank God for the changing of seasons and the various changes that brings to our world. I want to be pleased when I see what marvelous thing another of God's creatures has made, whether it be an airplane or an MRI machine or a painting of a sunset. Lord, help us to be in awe of the wonder of this life you've called us to, in all of its fullness. (John 10:10b)

Hurry up and wait...

On August 19, Pastor Perry spoke about James 5.7-12. Some thoughts on patience:

When we feel overwhelmed by problems, remember that it will be worth the wait! James 5:7-8a says, “Be patient, therefore, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious crop from the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You also must be patient…”

We know this passage is addressed to believers because James uses the term brothers four times (vv. 7, 9, 10, 12). The kind of patience to which James is referring can only be achieved by a person whose life is connected to God. Patience is listed among the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22. It is a characteristic of being born again. As such it is one of those things that set the believer apart from the world. But patience is not one of those things that comes easily. There is a price to pay for patience. Impatience seems more natural, and is often the easier route.

We have all experienced the hurt of mistreatment and misunderstanding. Such hurts come in a variety of forms; intolerable work situations, domestic conflicts, difficult relatives, individuals who take advantage of us, friends (so called) who turn against us, neighbors who believe false things about us and dozens of other hurtful circumstances. Our natural tendency is to retaliate, to return evil for evil, to get even, or to hold a grudge and become bitter. But there is a better way, a higher way that God calls his people to. We see another example of this in 1 Peter 2:18-20: “Slaves, accept the authority of your masters with all deference, not only those who are kind and gentle but also those who are harsh. For it is a credit to you if, being aware of God, you endure pain while suffering unjustly. If you endure when you are beaten for doing wrong, what credit is that? But if you endure when you do right and suffer for it, you have God’s approval.”

Anyone can endure when things are going well. And enduring suffering brought on by our poor choices is nothing extraordinary. However, enduring unfair treatment with patience is particularly noteworthy. When we respond in such a supernatural way, God is pleased. May the Lord grant us this kind of patience. He modeled it on the Cross, and he can give it to us as well.

Conflict, Entitlement and Me

This last Sunday when Pastor Perry was talking about conflict I couldn't help but be reminded of a recent article I read in Group Magazine (vol. 33, no.5) that dealt with Entitlement in today's youth. The article itself covered a lot of ground really quickly and was packed with a lot of great resources, but I want to address the role Entitlement plays in Conflict.

Really, one of the main problems with our culture today, is the fact that we are raising kids with an "Entitlement Mentality". Pastor Perry shared how the size of our homes have grown in the last 50 years by more than 100%, while the size of families has shrunken. Consider the fact America is the richest country in the history of the world with a GDP of more than 13.22 TRILLION dollars. I don't even know how many zeros a trillion is, but I imagine it's a lot! You'd think that with more money people today would be happier, but we all know this isn't so.

In fact multiple studies have come to the same conclusion in recent years. At $12,000 a year a person’s estimation of their satisfaction in life pretty much flat lines. That means that most people are happier at $12,000 a year than they were at $10,000. BUT the same or less people are still at the same level of satisfaction at $20,000 than at $12,000. Just like Biggie said, "Mo' money, Mo' problems".

If I make more money, somehow I feel entitled to more things. I can't explain this completely but I'm sure there is a Psychological explanation, for now let's call it Greed. America, today, feels entitled to so much more than the rest of the world's people. Do Maasai tribesmen of Western Africa feel entitled to own a car? Probably not. Do they feel they've earned a new iPod? I doubt it. So what is it about our society that drives our entitlement?

Quite simply I believe it's our desire to avoid hardships. The low times make the highs all that much higher. Example 1: with the youth we participate in the 30 Hour Famine, for 30 hours we go without food. This hardship brings a greater appreciation for the things we do have. Therefore the student’s sense of Entitlement is lessened.

What's all this have to do with conflict? Why do we struggle against one another? Why do we bicker and fight amongst ourselves over things such as parking spaces or musical styles (especially worship music)? Why am I constantly coveting my neighbor's possessions? Is it because I'm entitled to those things? No, it's because I think I am.

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Jesus. (Matthew 6:28-34)

So, what are we really entitled to?

Pragmatic suggestions for dealing with conflict

Following are 10 ideas for dealing with, and avoiding, conflicts in your life:

1. The greatest enemy to healthy relationships lies within your own selfish desires. Jesus said, “It is not what is on the outside of person that defiles them, but what comes out of their evil desires.” – hate, envy, jealousy. Practice a Holy Spirit-empowered self-control of your emotions, desires and thoughts. You have the power to solve 80% of the problems behind quarreling. Only Jesus had perfect motives.

2. When you hurt another with offensive words seek reconciliation with a forgiving attitude. Jesus said, “First be reconciled to your brother before presenting your offering at the altar.” If we say that we love God without loving our brother or sister, we are a liar and the truth does not abide in us (1 John 4:20).

3. There is a difference between discussing issues objectively and taking issues so personally that we begin to assault another’s character. Incessant quarreling is a sign of carnality and immaturity. Paul writes, “You Corinthians are still infants in Christ… You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?” (I Cor. 3;2,3) It’s okay to let things go sometimes!

4. It is all right to disagree without being disagreeable in the process. By controlling one’s tone of voice, one is able to calmly discuss issues without becoming agitated, irritated or emotionally volatile. Some people have more tolerance for differences of opinions than others. Carefully gauge whether or not it would be beneficial to share a different opinion.

5. Be humble, realizing that no one except the Lord has all the facts. Do not presuppose the superiority of your own point of view. Take other people’s feelings into account, even though you may have more information at your disposal. Relationships are more important than intellectual jousting.

6. Ask the Lord for patience when dealing with people of a different viewpoint. Jesus patiently spoke truth to the Pharisees who loved to argue, debate and publicly dispute ideas. The Lord demonstrated great restraint with people who were intellectually astute but spiritual dead.

7. As far as it is possible, live at peace with all people (Romans 12:18). This may mean politely bowing out of a conversation before it is too late. Through the wise use of chosen words you will be able to live in harmony, unity and cooperation with a wide variety of people. Some whom you have disagreements with may end up being your greatest allies.

8. God allows for unity amidst great diversity of opinions, cultures and personalities. “The Lord created Christians in one body and one Spirit with one Lord, one faith, one baptism and one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” (Eph. 4:4-6) Learn to appreciate God’s ability to work through diverse people to accomplish His Kingdom purposes. You may not be able to understand how or why he made us the way we are, but His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts than our thoughts. (Isa. 55:8-9)

9. Warn others about quarreling over words as it is of no value and only ruins those who listen (2 Tim. 2:14). We ought to concentrate on the essentials of faith and our obedience to what God has clearly revealed, rather than arguing endlessly about non-essentials.

10. Do not have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. Instead, choose to be kind to all, able to teach, not resentful. Gently instruct people with the hope that God will grant them a change of mind leading to a knowledge of the truth. (2 Tim. 2:23-24)

On the road together

Let’s face it, men, living God’s way doesn’t come naturally. That’s one of the great reasons God put us in the church: with the help of other believers we can become like Jesus more effectively. Accountability to another man is a great tool to help you in your desire to be more like the Savior.

In his book, “Locking Arms: Strength in Character through Friendships,” Stu Weber proposes four important aspects of Christian men’s accountability.

• Acceptance - we will choose to accept each other as we are with no conditions. Solomon wrote: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17). Paul encouraged the church at Rome, and us men today, to “accept one another as Christ as accepted you.” (Romans 15:7).

• Affirmation – we will commit to building each other up through genuine expression of interest and regular encouragement. In a world that beats us down every day wouldn’t it be nice to have a friend that intentionally encourages us?
1 Thessalonian 5:11 instructs us to “…encourage one another and build up each other…”

• Accountability – We will regularly check in with one another in key areas of our personal and spiritual growth. Solomon knew the value of accountability: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

• Authority – We will recognize and if necessary remind one another of God’s ultimate authority in our lives. Proverbs 27:5-6 reminds us: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Truth telling is indispensable in a friendship that under God’s authority.

As men, we are not meant to walk this path alone. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says:
“If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:10).

Gauges

Ask anyone who knows about cars, and they’ll tell you it’s important to pay attention to your gauges. They tell you what’s going on under the hood, and can help diagnose problems with the car’s systems.

According to James 3, our tongue is a good spiritual gauge or meter. It can control our whole body and set the course for our life (James 3:6). As such, it can also serve as an indicator of how things are functioning “under the hood” in our lives. What is the direction our life is heading in? How close to Christ’s life are we walking? Our words are one indicator.

I’ve heard it said that “when you’re shaken, what comes out is what you’re really made of.” I’m not just talking about the words we use when calm, cool, and trying to put on a good face. I’m talking about what you say when someone cuts you off in traffic, or slanders you, or you don’t get your way. These are the moments when our faith is shown for what it is.

Christ-followers, let’s remember to keep a close eye on the “tongue gauge.” Our faith can never register on a higher scale than our words.

Hide it under a bushel?

One of my favorite passages describing our walk with Christ is found in 2 Corinthians 3.17-18, which says, “For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord - who is the Spirit - makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” We reflect the light of Jesus, like the moon mirrors the light of the sun. And the more like Jesus we are, the clearer we can reflect his character and light.

Pastor Brian mentioned yesterday that the Holy Spirit is like a light in us. Miraculously, when we trust in Jesus, the Light of the World, we become little lights that point to Jesus, the ultimate source of light. Hence the kids’ song, “This Little Light of Mine.” (My daughter has yet to bring this song home from Sunday School, but I know it will be fun when she does.) When the song poses the question, “Hide it under a bushel [basket]?” the obvious answer is a resounding “No!” And yet, for a variety of reasons, we do indeed try to hide or squelch that light.

What are some of these reasons? How can we hide the light of the Holy Spirit within us? One way is by continuing to habitually sin. The scripture above from 2 Corinthians indicates that as we become more and more like Jesus, we will more and more clearly reflect the light of Jesus. So if we remain in sin and unrighteousness, we will be “smudged mirrors” that are ineffective at showing a clear image. Now I’m not supporting the idea that anyone can reach “sinless perfection” before we reach heaven, but merely saying that every Christian ought to be putting to death specific sins in their lives, and putting on godly character traits, and reducing the actual amount of sin in their life as time goes on. Do this, and your Holy Spirit light will shine brightly in a world in need of light.

Another reason our light may be dim is being ashamed of our faith. In a world increasingly hostile to Christianity, it can be easy to retreat into a corner, never letting anyone know that we have a relationship with the Creator of the universe. But if our lives have indeed been changed, if we are a “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17), and if God is indeed blessing us each day with new mercies (Lamentations 3:22-23), how can we keep it in? It’s like shaking up a bottle of Coke, then trying to just gently open up the lid without making a mess. God has blessed so abundantly that we ought to be bursting at the seams with praise (Ephesians 3:20-21). People of God, let’s not hide our relationship with Christ for fear of looking foolish. The Lord himself suffered great shame for our sake.

There is so much the Bible has to say about light, but the basic point is that we are light now in the Lord, and ought to live as people unafraid to live in the light, with our deeds exposed to the light of God’s truth. By obeying Jesus we shine his light into a dark world and offer a message of hope to the confused and hurting. Let’s go light it up, people!

Knowing and Doing

Many of us know more than we do. For me personally, I find it's not that I don't know what I ought to do as much as it is failing to do what I know I should do. Pastor Perry’s May 6 sermon dealt with James 1.19-27, which includes the following: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” (verse 22)

Perry writes, “The good thing about listeners is that they tend to spend time in the word. Listeners are often people who have a systematic quite time. That is they spend time almost every day reading, studying and taking notes over the things they’ve learned. Listeners are often people who love the church, they usually take copious notes during the sermon time and they even teach bible studies. But according to this passage there’s another step necessary for your spiritual development.” Too many of us who love the Bible don’t actually obey the Bible. The problem is that the Bible is meant to be obeyed, not just listened to.

The pattern we ought to have in our lives is to learn some of God’s truth, then put it into practice, then learn more truth, then put that into practice. But it tends to be that we sit in classrooms and sermons, listen to teaching on CDs and podcasts, all the while filling our heads up with knowledge and not changing our lives one bit. (Does this remind you a bit of the Pharisees that we studied in our last sermon series?)

We love to point our hypocrisy and contradiction in the lives of others. Think of the respiratory therapist who goes out on a break to have a cigarette, or the cardiologist stuffing his face with high-cholesterol foods and fattening himself up, or the beautician with a wretched hairdo. The real challenge is to see the inconsistency in our own lives and then do something about it. We ought to take some of that knowledge we have of God’s word and actually start applying it to our lives, making changes and the Holy Spirit puts his finger on dark corners that need the light to shine in them. O Lord, shine your truth into my life!

God's Yeses

First of all, I want to say that the spelling of this title is correct. I even double-checked it in the dictionary, and "yeses" and "yesses" are both accepted spellings of the plural of "yes." Okay, that's for those of you bothered by spelling and grammar like I can be. :)

I've been thinking about a point from April 29th's sermon in our sermon series on the book of James. In the midst of talking about temptations, Perry said that we need to "Live in light of God's yeses." Way too often, we tend to think of God's commands as a series of "no's." Don't do this, stop doing that, and on and on. Many a church has helped pour guilt onto Christians by piling up rules, boxing people in so they are in veritable straight jackets, unable to move.

What if we focused instead on the things God has said "yes" to? What if we painted much better and brighter pictures of what God affirms? I'm not suggesting that sin doesn't matter to God, but that we would do well to focus less on that big, shiny pile of things we call "sin" and more on life the way it was meant to be lived.

It seems easier for us to use our imaginations to picture what is ungodly, twisted, or sinful. This certainly seems true for the motion picture industry. If you're familiar with the Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies, think about how thoroughly evil the depictions of Mordor are, and how ghoulish the orcs and other servants of the Dark Lord are. The dark imagery is very powerful. Compare that with the ability of the film makers to achieve beauty in places like Rivendell. Sure, it's nice and all, with waterfalls and ornate carvings, but it's not nearly as compelling as the dark.

Why don't we set our minds to picturing the good things God has in store for us if we follow his way? (Philippians 4.8) Since God made us, with all our interests and desires, shouldn't we think that he knows the best way to fulfill those desires?

We are tempted to spend all our time and money on ourselves. Why don't we do a better job painting a picture of a life lived for others, a life of serving and giving? People who go on short-term missions trips to developing countries usually return saying things like, "They were so poor, but so full of joy," and then in a few weeks often return to the same lifestyle as before their trip. Perhaps we can do a better job of highlighting joyful lives of ministry.

We are hounded today by temptations to illicit sex and sensuality. Why don't we herald the beauty of sex within marriage, the way God designed it to be? And I'm not talking about puritanical, prudish talks about "waiting for marriage," which is of course an obvious given, but about saying things like "Want to avoid lots of hang-ups, distractions, and dissatisfaction in your sex life? Then stay away from pornography, don't fool around before you're married, and you'll have much more fun in the long run."

The desire for a thrill drives people to jump off of high structures with bungee cords strapped to them, to jump off their houses while friends video tape them, or to a myriad of "extreme" sports. Why can't we declare the thrill of knowing you're fulfilling your purpose, doing what you were created to do? (Ephesians 2.10) Or the thrill of sharing your faith with a neighbor you've developed a relationship with over months and years? Or the thrill of enjoying the beauty of creation and praising its Creator?

Let's live in light of God's yeses, and in doing so fully live (John 10.10). Have you got any more pictures to paint? I'd love to hear about them. Share them in the comments to this entry.